After spending new years eve at work, I came home to an empty house, my family was in Long Island only my dog would be there to keep me company. I made myself some hot chocolate and just laid in bed. If you know me by now you’re aware that I’m a horrible texter, so I checked my cell phone and i had 2 text messages from my best friend and my father both wishing me a happy new year and Anthony (slickest)
I guess at that moment It dawned on me how much I’ve changed and how much I’ve pushed people away. How my best friends deaths has a affected me, especially Kevins. But at the end of the day I would rather Only have my father and Joselyn.
I have moved passed trying to prove to everyone that I’m not a total cunt, I’ve learned that I am a bitch not completely but a part of me is. People forget all the things I’ve done for them, they forget how nice I can be. I’m not good at showing or expressing my emotions but I try; it doesn’t mean their not there. I lost a lot of friends and I’m more then fine with that because when I needed my “friends” the most I was left to stand on my own, only jossy and my dad were there.
People who don’t know me but call me a slut a hoe etc for no apparent reason, it use to get to me but theirs no reason to go out of my way to get the story straight or prove them wrong, The people who know me know who I am. So go ahead and judge me say what ever you like Im okay with me.
This why I keep to myself, why I’m so guarded.